1. Joe Anthro was an authority on Egyptian and Babylonian culture.
His greatest accomplishment, however, was his famous work on the
Throat culture.
[Snoopy] (You’ve Got To Be Kidding, Snoopy,
4/18/74)
2. Guess what, manager…one of your socks flew clear out to the
center-field fence! That must be some kind of record…would you
call it the longest sock ever hit, or just the longest sock? Or
maybe you could call it the longest sock ever socked…How about
h
the longest hit ever socked or the longest sock ever sockered?
[Lucy] (You’ve Got To Be Kidding, Snoopy,
6/16/74)
3. Many people are worried about the “killer bees.” Not me. What I
worry about are those “killer D-minuses”!
[Peppermint Patty] (By Supper Possessed,
1/24/86)
4. You know what wishy-washy people need? Cringe benefits!
[Charlie Brown] (By Supper Possessed,
1/18/86)
5. A man in a truck drove to the zoo. He said to the zoo keeper,
“I’ve got some good gnus for you and some bad gnus for you!”
[Sally] (Stay With It, Snoopy,
12/14/76)
6. Sorry I missed that one, manager…I was hoping I’d catch
it…Hope got in my eyes!
[Lucy] (Don’t Be Sad, Flying Ace,
3/3/88)
The pun is on
“Smoke Gets In Your Eyes”—at least, that’s how it struck me.
7. This one musician asks the other if he can play the ‘Hallelujah
Chorus,’ see? And this guy says, ‘Oh, I guess I can HANDEL it!’
[Charlie Brown] (The Wonderful World of Peanuts,
1/2/54)
8. Last night we had a new kind of marshmallow roast. We all sat
around and insulted a marshmallow.
[Spike] (Talk Is Cheep, Charlie Brown,
10/31/86)
9. “I used to think you were a great engineer,” she said. “Once,
I even loved you…but you’ve gotten too big for your bridges.”
[Snoopy] (You’re On The Wrong Foot Again, Charlie Brown,
8/14/85)
10. Well, once I was fond of you, but then I wasn’t…but then I was
again…there must be a word for it… Refond!
[Marcie] (Don’t Be Sad, Flying Ace,
3/9/88)
11. This is my report on serfs…Serfs had to work very hard…Every
morning the master would yell, “Serfs up!”
[Sally] (Being a Dog is a Full-Time Job,
5/18/89)
12. What are you fishing for, compliments?
[Linus] (You Asked For It, Charlie Brown,
7/16/73)
You can also give
yourself credit if you answered Lucy, because she also asked Snoopy (on
another occasion), “Fishing for compliments?” (Take Charge,
Snoopy,
5/25/82)